Values

Generation Y – Fact or Distortion

A couple came to me for help a few weeks ago. They had been experiencing a few challenges in their relationship and weren’t sure what to do about that. Now the first thing I do when ever a couple is experiencing problems is to get them to individually identify their key life values. That is largely because I know that values have enormous impact on how people behave towards themselves and others. In this case what was interesting was that they both identified their number one value as Security. Initially I thought ‘good they have some common ground here!’ I went on to ask the wife “how do you know when you have security in your life? Give me an example?” and she responded “When my husband is home at night. I don’t feel safe at night when he isn’t home.” As soon as she finished the husband groaned “oh!” So I turned to the husband and asked “how do you know when you have Security in your life?” He answered “when I have a good bank balance, because I like to know that if something happened I could still pay the bills.” What do you suppose he is doing to make sure they have ‘a good bank balance’? Yep… working long hours and travelling interstate over night regularly. You can see the problem. They had a very different value but they used the same name to label it.
That really shouldn’t have surprised me. I’ve worked with people’s values for years. Thousands of people have shared their values with me and certain values regularly come up Honesty, Balance, Success, Achievement, Health among many. Even though the same words are regularly used the description of each person’s values is always as unique as their finger print.
That is the problem I have with the concepts often tabled about Generation X and Y and Baby Boomer behaviour. To accept the generalisation that every one born between period A and period B all share the same behaviour and values is massively oversimplifying how people think and behave. I understand peoples desire to generalise concepts. It is after all one of the ways humans make sense of the world. We like to be able to put concepts neatly into a box to help us make sense of complicated ideas. We should never lose sight of the idea that each of us is as unique as a finger print and what motivates us to think and behave the way we do is far more fascinating and wonderous than the year we were born.