Different Maps of the World

Respect of others
Many of us were brought up to believe or at least have heard the old Elizabethan saying ‘do unto others as you would have them do unto you.’ In plain English it means ‘treat people they way you would like to be treated.’

Following this noble value is probably not a bad way to live your life….or is it? Think about it carefully. Many people take this ideal too far with staff, partners, children and friends. - urging others to do what we decide will be good for them!

It’s a very common attitude. If I like eating lightly cooked eggs, baked beans and mushrooms I may assume everyone else does too. I had a personally experience recently when I invited my best friends over for dinner and served one of my favourite meals only to find that they had recently stopped eating dairy products. Imagine my annoyance that my friends didn’t want this great meal I have cooked as I put half a lasagne in the bin!.

This same attitude prevails in the business world today. You should do things they way I think they should be done or they way I do them. When a colleague or staff member comes to us for guidance on how to complete a task we may respond with ‘how we think it should be done.’ Perhaps we should change the Elizabethan saying to ‘Impose unto others as you would do unto yourself.’

Unique Maps of the world
Each of us has different tastes. Different views. Different needs. Different ways of thinking. Each of us experiences the world differently.

Imagine drawing a map of the route you take to get from home to work regularly. That map would be your unique representation of your journey to work every day. Now imagine I looked at you map and said ‘actually you map isn’t the best route, you should go this way. Use my map instead of yours.’ How would you react? Most of would be entitled to think ‘what makes your map better than mine? Isn’t there almost always more than one way routine? And isn’t the best routine in the eye of the beholder?

I think this is a good metaphor for how many people try to influence staff today. They often impose their map of the world (on how things should be done) on staff and with the same act invalidate any other views. Should they be surprised when they face resistance or discomfort from staff?

“But I meant well…!”
It’s all done with the best of intentions, of course. Other people’s views are ignored because we assume that everyone is like us and that our approach is best. There is no need to ask what the other person’s would like or how they would like to be treated, because we have good intentions.

“You should be grateful…!”
With this common way of thinking you may not check whether the other person is happy with our generous advice because we are acting with good intentions. As long as we mean well they should be grateful for what we do for you – whether they want it or not. Whether or not it is appropriate. Whether or not they like it.

Action Points
Any leader who wants to be more effective at influencing their staff needs to understand their map of the world and start adding to the map rather than trying to impose your map on them. At Neural Networks Consulting (NNC) we put this philosophy at the heart of all our training. You should ensure it is at the heart of your leadership training too. Other actions you can take include

1. Aim to walk in their shoes. Take a real interest in what is important to each of your staff. In what they like and dislike. In what they fear, enjoy, believe and value.

2. Spend the next two weeks understanding their ‘map of the world.’ Ask a lot more questions and make a lot less statements. Turn your Transmit button off-and turn your Receive button on.

3. Use more Open rather than Closed questions.

4. Listen to answers you get and utilise the information from these answers in the conversation.

To find out more about how NNC can assist your business check out our website at http://www.neuralnetworks.com.au/ or contact me on P: (03) 9555 7955
E: andrew@neuralnetworks.com.au