The Devil Inside – Toward or Away?

At NNC we often discuss some of NLP’s Motivational Thinking Styles and how our patterns of thinking translate into our attitudes, behaviours and ways of communicating. The one that has had the biggest impact on understanding myself and how I interact with others is called Motivation: Toward & Away. This Thinking Style relates to how we are motivated and in which direction we will move – either toward achieving an objective or goal; or away from potential problems or consequences. There is a questionnaire we often give clients to complete which helps them to identify their Thinking Style preferences, but even without this I instantly knew that I was more Away from.

What’s interesting is the conflicts your Toward and Away motivations can cause in life. Being more Away in my thinking has not just been positive in inspiring me to challenge myself and work harder, but has also often held me back from doing many things. Thinking about the things I value most in life, I have a strong desire for success, achievement and personal growth (my Toward values). On the other hand, I’ll do anything to move away from feeling fear, failure, inadequacy or disappointment (my Away values). I can think of hundreds of times when my fear of failure and looking stupid or inadequate has stopped me from trying something new – literally stopped me from having the success, achievement and personal growth that I’ve wanted. Anthony Robbins talks about Toward & Away in terms of Pleasure and Pain…and when the Divinyls sang about it ‘being a fine line’ they certainly knew what they were talking about! Risking the option of pain, humiliation or failure didn’t seem worth the potential enjoyment and accomplishment I might have been rewarded with…….or was it??

Imagine a life where you’re so afraid of what MIGHT happen, that you create that world for yourself before it’s even a reality. And despite never really being able to have a guarantee that you won’t fall on your arse a few times, what’s worse….always wondering ‘what if’, or suffering a few minor setbacks on your way to glory (wow, there can actually be more pain in not doing it, then giving it a try!) So although that little ‘devil’ Away voice is still useful at times - when I want to think practically about how to avoid potential problems or pitfalls - my ‘angel’ Toward voice often spurs me on to look at the solutions to overcome these bumps in the road and summon the courage to at least give it a shot. Let’s face it, for many people public speaking is a fate worse then death and ten years ago I would have joined them in that club. Now I stand up in front of groups delivering training programs as part of my job – still nervous and a little insecure at times, but willing to slap that fear in the face and do it anyway. Who would have thought it? At times I still have to battle with some of my Away thinking, but having some self awareness and focusing on being the ‘Little Engine That Could’ (“I think I can….I think I can…”), then I can continue to look forward rather then backwards and score goals that I never thought possible.

For more about NLP Thinking Styles or completing a profile, contact me on T: (03) 9555 7955 E: gina@neuralnetworks.com.au