Influence

It was 10am on a Saturday morning and I was walking home from a friend’s apartment in Sydney when a man in construction style clothes, covered in dirt and white paint, came up to me in the street and asked if I would please give him some assistance. As he was so polite, I followed him to see how I could help.

He lead me to his Holden Commodore (probably 5 years old) and began to show me where thieves had scratched the door panel and broken the lock to the drivers side door. He continued to tell me how his mobile phone, wallet and sunglasses were all stolen. He also showed me that the thieves had attempted to start the car by jamming something into the ignition because it too was scratched.

Still unsure of what the man wanted, I asked “so what can I do to help?” He responded by telling me that the car only had about 5 Kilometres of petrol left and that he needed to get to a petrol station to fill up. He then asked me for directions to the nearest petrol station. I gave him directions and he thanked me kindly for assisting him. Just before he let me go, he also asked if I could possibly give him $50 for petrol because he would also need to pay for it and get home. He promised to take my details and pay me back.

I reached into my pocket and I had $20 which I gave to him because he obviously needed the help, of course I did not ask for him to return the money because he clearly needed it and it was no great burden on me.

This was a great lesson for me on the power of influence! As I reflected on the situation, I wonder if the man had simply walked up to me and asked for $50 because his car had been broken into and he needed to get home and didn’t have his wallet or phone… would I have obliged? I seriously doubt it.

The man completely involved me in his story. He gave me a background of what had happened, showed me how it impacted him and the result of what the thieves had done. Because I felt so involved, I felt obliged to help him out of his situation. Walking away at that time would have created a major values conflict for me. How could I walk away and not help this man?

It’s not how you make your request that makes the difference in life; it’s what you do before you make your request that ultimately decides the outcome.